At the end of 2018, I started thinking about New Year’s resolutions for 2019. Instead of choosing to do a list of resolutions, I chose to come up with a word for the year. In 2019, I chose “Fearless” as my word. I intended to do more of what scared me and to push myself outside of my comfort zone. In 2019, I failed to live up to my chosen word. I tried a few new things, but overall, I burrowed deep into my comfort zone and barely poked my head out.
I’ve decided that instead of feeling guilty about not being fearless, I will make the best of it. In 2019, I needed the rest; I needed the time to see what I needed to change. I was just going with the flow, still allowing people into my life that asked more of me than they were willing to give in return. I wasn’t doing very much for myself. As mothers, it’s so hard for us to put ourselves first in so many cases. We need to take care of ourselves, we need the self-care, we need to do things for ourselves in order to take care of other people.
That’s why I’ve decided my word for 2020 is “Me.”
I understand as a wife and mother of three, to some, my word may seem selfish. I’m going ensure my family is taken care of, my kids still get what they need, my home is still be cared for.
When I say my word is “Me,” what I mean is that when I’m able to put myself first, I will. When I can do something for myself, I will. This means I will take chances, I will make self-care important, I will make my health important, I will do things to improve MY mental health. This might mean pursuing something that makes me happy or cutting out toxic people that expect me to only do for them. This will mean making time for the workout routine I enjoy, exploring new workout routines to find the one I enjoy, eating healthy in a way that I enjoy. It will mean reading new books that I want to read, writing when I want to write. Whatever it is that improves ME the way that I want.
I’ve got a few tools to help me reach my goals and to help me keep track of what I feel I need to do for myself to make the year a success. I’ve got a vision board set up with not only goals, but positive affirmations to repeat to myself. For example, I haven’t been the best at reading new books, even though it’s one of my favorite past times, so I included the goal to read 12 books in 12 months. I see it every time I see my vision board. I also want to be sure to get outside more, so I’ve added to do more outside as a family. With this one, I’ve included the affirmation, ‘I’m always ready for a new adventure.’ This helps me on days when I’m not quite feeling up for getting out because it puts it in a new perspective for me.
The vision board I’ve chosen to do isn’t a typical vision board either. I have goals on there that I may achieve or goals I want to change. Since I recognize this, I’ve chosen to use a bulletin board and thumbtacks. It allows me to replace or change my goals throughout the year to apply to the current situation. It’s become a great tool to help visualize goals and ways I want to put myself first.
Choosing to put myself first in situations that I can will ultimately make me a better mother, wife, friend, daughter, person.
2020 is for ‘Me’ but it will also do so much more for those I choose to surround myself with. I’m excited to see what 2020 has in store for my family and I. We have a lot to look forward to this year.
Laura, great post! You’re right, there is absolutely nothing wrong or selfish with the word ‘ME!’ . You are a person just like your family are people. As a mental health counselor in SE Idaho I find your insight into yourself and the world around you so refreshing.
Thank you so much!