My husband and I often joke that somewhere there is a room full of sitcom writers coming up with ways to make our lives more interesting. Some of the things that have happened since we met are so over the top that they sound like things that happened to increase ratings during sweeps week.
Let me take you through the various “seasons” of my TV show life.
Season 1 (2006-2007): Brandon and I are set up on a blind date by a mutual friend at the beginning of the school year for Utah State University. We have instant chemistry. He proposes to me on the 6 month anniversary of when we met. We get married two and a half months later in May 2007.
Season 2 (2007-2008): We are poor, broke college students. Our car breaks down on our honeymoon. Later it dies for good and we spend a semester walking everywhere. I graduate with my bachelors degree in Economics from USU in December 2007. The second half of the season shows an improvement to our finances because I get a full time job. We buy a Jeep Cherokee. We go on a road trip to Yellowstone to celebrate our one year anniversary.
Season 3 (2008-2009): We move from our tiny first apartment to a two bedroom townhouse. This season is a bit of a downer because neither of us gets what we want. Brandon is trying to earn flight ratings through the flight program at Utah State, but the school seems more interested in taking his money than actually teaching. I’m wondering why I can’t get pregnant even though it seems like everyone else is. (Even Bella from Twilight gets pregnant before me.) I start a personal blog because I really need a hobby. I re-discover a love of writing that had been squished by years of school. I decide to look for positives about my current non-pregnant status, and we celebrate our second anniversary with a road trip to Southern California specifically so we can ride roller coasters at Magic Mountain.
Season 4 (2009-2010): This season starts off continuing the boring and depressing pace from Season 3. But someone must have brought in a new showrunner for the second half of the season because things start changing. Brandon decides to graduate with an interdisciplinary degree. We move to Bountiful, Utah. Soon after making that decision I find out I’m pregnant. And then a week later I have an ultrasound and find out that we are having twins. We celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary with a road trip to Southern Utah. The season ends on a somber note though; while we are in the middle of nowhere, I suffer what I think is a miscarriage.
Season 5 (2010-2011): We are sad, but still continue with our plan to move to Bountiful. The move makes it hard for me to really follow up with my doctor so it isn’t until we are in Bountiful that I finally get into a doctor, and SURPRISE – I’m still pregnant. Both babies are fine. I’m just terrible at communicating with my body. Our twin daughters are born four weeks early via C-Section on Halloween Night. (We didn’t plan that.) They are small and need help breathing and eating so they stay in the NICU while Brandon and I live in a special room at the hospital for 18 days until they are able to come home. Then the real work begins. Gradually we figure out a routine. This season ends with a stay-cation in northern Utah because we have no money or energy to go anywhere else.
Season 6 (2011-2012): The sitcom writers must have had a lot of fun with my pregnancy in Season 5 because they repeat the storyline in Season 6. The twins aren’t even a year old when I figure out I’m 12 weeks along with another pregnancy. We are going to be a family of five in a two bedroom apartment. Brandon and I explore a lot of career options and decide Brandon should join the Army. Our son is born via VBAC on Easter morning. (Yep, another surprise holiday delivery.) We celebrate our anniversary with a road trip to visit my sister in Colorado.
Season 7 (2012-2013): The first half of this season is dominated by Brandon going to Basic Training in Georgia and me staying behind with three kids under the age of two. A full cast of family and friends help me survive. In December, I attend Brandon’s graduation. Shortly after that he receives orders to Fort Hood, Texas and we move into a four bedroom house. This is definitely an improvement over the two bedroom apartment.
But there is more drama in this season. While Brandon is away at a month long training in California, I find out that I’m pregnant again. I am not happy about repeating this storyline for a third season in a row – especially since I had an IUD in place. I spend the next few months learning to love this unexpected baby and to relax my expectations for myself.
Season 8 (2013-2014): This new baby is due in September so I wonder if the holiday trend will continue with a delivery on Labor Day. But the baby must have misheard me. Instead of hearing “holiday” she heard “hallway.” In a storyline ripped straight from just about every TV show, I go into labor and don’t have time to get to the hospital. My daughter is born in the hallway of our home while Brandon and a few fast acting neighbors help deliver her. The ambulance arrives 10 minutes later and takes us all to the hospital.
You’d think that would be enough for one season, but no. In January, Brandon’s Army unit deploys to Korea for 9 months. I stay in Texas with four children under the age of four. Another wonderful cast of friends and family helps me survive. I also start my travel blog, www.51centadventures.com, because I need something to keep me sane. Brandon is in Korea on our 7th wedding anniversary. We celebrate via a Skype call.
Season 9 (2014-2015): Season 9 is full of good news.
First off, I’m not pregnant during any part of it. Second, it’s a good season for Brandon’s career. He applies and is accepted into the Army’s flight program in Fort Rucker, Alabama. When he comes home from Korea, we go on a belated anniversary road trip along the Texas coastline. In the spring, he goes to Alabama for Warrant Officer Career College which is a precursor to flight school. While he’s at WOCC’s , I take care of all the details for moving our family to Alabama. Season 9 ends with us moving into our new home in Alabama and attending Brandon’s WOCC graduation.
Season 10 (2015-2016): This season starts with some very special episodes about autism. Our three year old son is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The autism diagnosis turns out to be a really good thing. He gets access to lots of services, like going to Pre-K a whole year early. He starts Pre-K at the same time as the twins. Suddenly, I’m home with just one child for the first time in my life – it’s great.
Things aren’t so great for Brandon. He has some problems that impact his ability to withstand the rigors of Army flight school. Season 10 ends with us making the gut wrenching decision to leave flight school and to also leave the Army.
Season 11 (2016-2017): It takes six months of waiting in limbo before all the paperwork is complete and we can move away from Fort Rucker. We go on several mini road trips while we are waiting. When we finally can leave, we move in with Brandon’s parents in Utah.
Brandon and I trade roles for a while. I’m able to get a part time accounting job at a ski resort. Brandon rocks being a stay at home parent while also applying for jobs. None of the jobs pan out though. We decide the best course of action is for Brandon to use the Post 9/11 GI Bill to go back to school to be an aircraft mechanic. He picks Idaho State University in Pocatello.
I really want to move out of the in-laws house sooner than the fall so I do something super crazy. I apply for a summer accounting job in Yellowstone National Park. I get the job and we buy an RV. The season ends with us driving up to Yellowstone ready for our big adventure.
Season 12 (2017-2018): Our summer in Yellowstone is amazing. I work 40 hours a week and the rest of the time is spent enjoying the park with my family. I start out working in Canyon Village. Halfway though the summer, I am promoted to a position at Roosevelt Lodge. The summer goes by way too quickly.
In the fall we move into a rental house, sell the RV, and get into a routine that involves school for most of the family. Brandon does really well. It’s obvious that he is meant to be an aircraft mechanic and we kind of kick ourselves for taking so long to figure that out. I find a job with the County Treasurer’s office and really enjoy it. The season ends with a road trip around Idaho.
Season 13 (2018-2019): Early in this season, I get hit by a car while crossing a street. (Those TV writers really want to add some drama.) Thankfully only my left kneecap is dislocated, but I have my second ambulance ride. I go to physical therapy for a month and it’s a really empowering experience. Around this same time I help a coworker with her campaign to be the County Treasurer as the social media director. After she wins I start thinking of other ways I can use words to spread a message. This is when I apply to be a contributor to Idaho Falls Moms Blog. I like having a place where I can share my ideas about motherhood.
A lot of Season 13 is dedicated to figuring out where we will live after Brandon graduates from school. We want to stay in Idaho if possible. After visiting several prospective employers, we decide to move to Twin Falls. The season ends with Brandon graduating magna cum laude with his associates degree.
Season 14 (2019-2020): This is our current season. We have a mini story arc centered around finding and buying our first house and then moving to Twin Falls. All the kids are in public school for the first time. I’m trying to figure out what areas to focus on in my life. I’d like to work, but it has to be somewhere that will allow me to be flexible with my schedule. So far I’m spending time writing and helping out with some political issues that are important to me. I’m also exploring other ways to use my talents. I’m looking forward to more stability and permanence.
So there you have it. My life summed up in 13 crazy seasons. Ironically, I don’t watch a lot of TV. But honestly, with a life this unpredictable, who needs television?
