I remember when the nurse came in to tell me they were releasing me from the hospital with her less than 24 hours after she was born. I looked outside my hospital room window and the sky was dark and it was starting to rain. I started crying. I was terrified to take home this brand new, tiny little blessing and felt like I knew nothing about babies. But, we got through it together and she was the best baby, so patient and happy. 
I remember dropping her off at preschool, scared to be away from her and wondering if she’d be ok. She sat down in her chair at the table and told me I could “go now”. I walked slowly home, preschool only being a few houses away, worried, and wasn’t sure how to be away from her for a few hours a few days a week. But, we got through it together. She flourished and was the best little friend and helper at preschool.
I remember every year of elementary school wishing she’d homeschool so she didn’t have to be gone so long each day, being so excited to hear all about the things she’d learn, and heartbroken when kids were mean and hurt my precious child. I was afraid to share her with the world and trust that her teachers and friends would watch out for her and keep her safe. But, we got through it together and she made me so proud for her positive attitude, hard work, and never giving up even when enduring hard experiences.
I remember dropping her off at middle school and wanting to grab her and take her back home because there were kids twice as tall as her and it felt like I was sending her out to sea without a paddle. I should have known better by then how strong she was and she swam through middle school like a champ even though kids are crazy in middle school and can be so self absorbed and cruel. But, we got through it together and I watched her grow by leaps and bounds. She never ceases to amaze me.
Today, I took her to her first day as a junior in high school. As she walked into school laughing with a friend, a piece of me went with her. These days with her in my home are fading and I’m trying to hold on as tight as I can while knowing I’m having to ease up on the reins a little more each day. I’m petrified about the next couple years because I don’t know what’s to come and we haven’t been through it yet. I love her beyond words and am beyond proud of who she is and all she does. I’m grateful she’s mine and all I’ve learned from her and know she’s going to continue to do amazing things in this world. I’m afraid of this new phase of life just like all the others but each one has been such a remarkable adventure that I know this one will be too.
We will get through it together, because even if I’m not ready, she is.
