At this very moment, a daycare worker is watching my children as I sit on a couch in a room filled with the smell of coffee and the sounds of commercials on a tv.
I do feel a little guilty. Wouldn’t a good mom be with her kids at this moment? I’m sure other moms are able to work on their hobbies and side hustles as they watch their own kids. What if I’m just trying to escape motherhood? Maybe I should just quit everything else, this time of life isn’t about me anyway.
No, Mary. Just no.
Are you in the same boat? Are you trying to accomplish everything AND be Mom? Are you carrying guilt because by trying to do it all, nothing is being accomplished? Does the thought of spending time away from your child make you feel like a bad mom? Are you holding resentment that your needs aren’t met?
Join me in saying, “Not anymore.”
We will reject comparison. We are unique people. We are unique mothers. We have unique circumstances, strengths, weaknesses, mental capabilities, energies. Our children are each unique beings with different levels of ability and independence. And this is beautiful.
We will reject our own judgment of other mothers and reject any judgment of ourselves.
We will prioritize our own joy, well-being, mental health, and peace.
We will allow our cups to be filled by self-care, hobbies, pleasure, and plain ol’ kid-free time. We know that this trickles down to our kids because we are able to be better mothers when our cups are full. We will respect our limits and accept we can’t do it all. We know can’t do anything at all if we are empty and dry. So we embrace boundaries that protect what we value.
We will be happier moms when we are able to separate motherhood from everything else. We will be able to be present with our children when we have time away to accomplish our other goals and fulfill our needs. Compartmentalizing can be our friend!
We will embrace our village: the daycare workers, friends, family, nannies, babysitters, food delivery services, house cleaners, mother’s helpers, and especially each other. We will ask for help when we need it. We will offer help and support when we are able. We will accept the ebb and flow of our own needs versus the needs of others.
Our children will see our example. After all, that is the best way to raise them to be healthy humans
We are worth it. Our kids are worth it. Our community is worth it. Changing the culture is worth it.
Will you join me?
