Holidays can be tricky with young children. All the fun comes with the double-edged sword of sugar and disruption to routines. I don’t have any suggestions for how to deal with all the sugar, but I do have some suggestions for how to help your kids handle the changes to their routines.
I have experience with this mostly because of my son; he’s on the Autism spectrum and likes things to be predictable. He has a hard time when things don’t go the way he expects. This makes navigating the holidays feel more like navigating a minefield; there is always the possibility that something will blow up in my face – even if it’s a fun activity.
I’ve worked out several techniques that help him (and me) enjoy the holidays. These are helpful for anyone with children who like routines and predictability.
Pick and Choose Activities
This is the most important thing. You can’t go to everything and you can’t do everything. Kids can only handle so much stimulus. At the beginning of the holidays we usually make a “Holiday Bucket List” of the things we absolutely want to do. For example, we know we want to go to our Family Christmas party, but seeing Santa at the Mall isn’t a huge priority for us. Having that list helps us weigh the cost/benefit of adding additional activities.
Consistent Naps and Bedtimes
When my kids were really little, I found that we couldn’t do anything in the afternoon. Nap times were just too hard to disrupt. I have also found that it’s best if the kids go to bed at the same time every night. When it comes to holidays, it’s important to make sure kids stay as close to their usual sleep routine as possible.
I’ve been able to relax a bit on some of these tips as the kids have grown up. But even as recently as a Halloween Party this October, I was regretting letting my son stay up past his 7:30 bedtime. He started emotionally spiraling at about 8:00 and he completely fell apart before 9:00. It was a reminder that he needs his sleep. Next time I’ll have a better plan for how to politely leave a party when my son starts showing signs that he’s had enough.
Calendars
Calendars are a great way to help kids understand the amount of time between events. I have a homemade calendar on my wall that shows several months at once. I can show my kids when birthdays, holidays, and other relevant dates are in relation to the current date.
Recently my son has wanted a calendar of his own. I made him a quick one from blank paper because he was talking about Christmas in August and I needed to give him a visual idea of when to expect Christmas. At bedtime he likes to cross off each day. We spend time talking about what is coming up that week and later in the month. And yes, we point out Christmas way down at the bottom of the calendar.
Picture Schedules
My son has used picture schedules at school for a long time. He’s a visual learner so seeing a picture of something is often better than being told something. I put this tool to personal use one year for Thanksgiving.
I drew up a schedule of the day and just drew little stick figure drawings of what we were going to do. My son did so well that day because he knew what to expect. He walked around the house holding the cards and telling everyone the schedule all morning long. This was much better than the year before when he’d had a huge meltdown because the day had been so unpredictable. I now do this for every major holiday.
Weekly Picture Schedules
Breaks from school are really unpredictable for my son because his routine changes from week to week and even from day to day. Two summers ago, I started drawing out a picture schedule for each week. My son would sit with me when I drew these schedules and we’d talk about what we were going to do each day.
Here’s one from a week when my son had a lot of daycare field trips, a family reunion, and then more daycare field trips. It was the busiest week of the summer, but my son did great with all the transitions because he knew about them ahead of time.
I usually draw out a picture schedule for the week of Thanksgiving, Christmas Break, and any other week that will have a lot of events that are out of the ordinary. As you can tell, I am not a great artist, but even my simple drawings help my son know what to expect.
Plan to Calm Down After
Even activities that go well have lingering after effects. I always try to have a way for my son to decompress after a big event. Calming activities for him include watching a YouTube video on my phone or watching a movie on the TV. Lately I’ve found the This is Sand App to be really good at helping him refocus.
I hope these suggestions help you as you help your children navigate the holidays this year. Try a few of these ideas and you may have a smoother holiday season than you would have had otherwise. And if these ideas don’t work, you can always blame bad behavior on too much sugar.
I’m always looking for more ways to help my son handle unpredictability. What techniques do you use?
