I’m the Listening Mom

I’m an introvert by nature. When in a group setting, I tend to remain silent because I just don’t like having all eyes on me. Something that maybe many of us introverts are good at is listening. Maybe? Just me?

I guess it’s a talent really in today’s world where everybody is always fighting for their chance to talk about themselves.

I’m going to use the old cliche that people use in speeches by saying the dictionary defines the word listening as making an effort to hear something, or in this case, someone. It does take effort to listen, but for me, it has always come naturally. And you know what? It can be really exhausting!

When I’m in a group setting, and even individually, with other moms, I often find myself being quiet and not talking much. I am the one listening to all the other moms talk about the funny thing their child did yesterday, the woes of potty training, and venting about how hard motherhood can be some days. And it’s really hard sometimes! Some days I want to vent about how hard motherhood has been with my anxiety, share a funny story about what my son did that morning, or even talk about my hobbies outside of motherhood. But I keep quiet because I’m afraid to share those things. Maybe I just don’t want all eyes on me or I’m scared of being vulnerable. 

Now there have been some days where I leave a conversation with another mom and feel great! I went over to a neighbor’s house one day to kill a wasp in her house because she is allergic. Plus, I’m not afraid to kill a bug! She and I talked for over an hour. I let her do most of the talking because I knew she had been lonely with her husband gone for a few months for work and struggling to raise a child with a disability and needed somebody to just listen. I came home to tell my husband that I was so grateful that I provided that opportunity for her to open up about how she’s been struggling and offer words of encouragement.

That day I thought about my talent of listening more as an opportunity to serve others rather than a burden, but it’s easy to lose that perspective.

It comes with its highs and lows, being the listener. I hope this doesn’t come across as a venting post about how much I hate always listening to moms talk. It can be tough, but I am so grateful that I am good at it because I have provided a listening ear when it mattered most to many people. My hope for you, as the reader, is that you will think about your time spent with other people and how good your listening skills are. Could you stop talking for a few minutes and let someone else share something exciting about their life or even something they may be struggling with? A conversation is only a conversation if both people are talking. Conversations should flow smoothly where both parties get the opportunity to speak. 

Even though it’s a talent I have, I know it doesn’t come naturally to most people, o set a goal to be better at listening, because we all have exciting and difficult things we want to talk about. Treat it the same way you do with your children. We know they value their time with us when we give them full attention to talk about whatever is on their mind. We deserve the same.