How Instagram Made Me A Better Parent

Instagram is probably my favorite social media platform. When I first got wind of it, I remember thinking it was a stupid idea. “Just pictures? What are these stupid hashtag things? Why is there so much avocado toast?” I never came around to hashtags, but I did come around to just taking pictures and I definitely came around to the toast. Man, I could even come around to some delicious avocado toast right now.

I like Instagram. I like the simple layout, I like the small insights into people’s lives, and I like that I can follow you and see a picture of your family trip instead of hearing about your views on vaccinations or the national anthem. Mostly, I like seeing the beautiful moments of my friends’ lives.

There are a lot of valid criticisms about Instagram. It’s soulless (yep). It doesn’t represent real life (yep). It has mostly become an avenue for reality stars to sell you laxative tea and sunglasses (heck to the yep). Being obsessive over your Insta aesthetic can take the joy out of living in the moment (yep). These are all true. You can find dozens of think pieces on the detriments of Instagram and I’ll probably be nodding along with it. I can’t explain away these issues, but I want to take a minute to explain why I’m able to overlook the bad parts.

I’m not a photographer. I don’t have the training or talent, so Instagram wasn’t something that came easily to me. Once I got the hang of taking pictures on my phone (and it took a really long time), I noticed that the way that I viewed the world started to change. I started doing more creative projects and taking pictures of them. I started hiking and traveling more. I started looking more closely at my food and what was in it. And whenever I would post something, I would wonder, “am I just taking pictures with the hopes of getting some sort of affirmation from someone I knew for a second in high school?” And the answer is, “Yeah, that’s probably part of it.” I like validation. I like hearing from people, even if I didn’t know them well.  These are all very natural emotions, but for some reason, we pretend that only the most shallow and desperate among us must feel this way.

I didn’t document my life well until I learned how to take cell-phone pictures, and I didn’t start to take pictures until I used Instagram. The pictures I did take pre-Instagram were thought out and staged. All of the pictures of my older kids when they were babies are like that. Sitting up and smiling. Birthday cakes and balloons. They are lovely pictures, but they are also pretty interchangeable. When I started taking pictures on my phone, I started noticing all sorts of details about my kids. The dimples on their hands. The moment their smiles shift from happy to exuberant. The sunlight streaming on my daughter as she holds a doll. All of the sudden, I saw so much worth preserving about our daily lives, so much worth celebrating. I almost want to cry when I realize that I had moments like that all the time, and I just didn’t pay attention. I’ll continue to nod along to any discussion on how Instagram alters our perception of reality, but I’ll have to add a small asterisk in my heart because I think Instagram may have also helped me truly see my reality.