You can’t be everything to everyone. I keep having to remind myself of that lately. Recently, I have had experiences that require me to ponder and make decisions about what I truly want in life and what is really important to me. I have been torn between “good, better, and best”, and I’ve struggled to make a decision because I want everyone else to be happy. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or to feel disappointed in me or my abilities. Most of the time, I know what I want and what is important to me, but I am too afraid to speak up or I hesitate so much that I start to second-guess myself. (Ugh, yes, I drive myself crazy!)
I am grateful for good friends that can see clearly and share their opinions with me to counsel and guide me or to simply validate my points of view and priorities. I have felt encouraged and inspired by them when they remind me that even though not everyone will have the same priorities I do, my priorities are still important and valid. No matter what, they are valid. That has given me the strength to stand up for myself in the face of opposing views and make choices that are better for myself and for my family. I am grateful for these wonderful ladies in my life and the encouragement and examples of strength they have provided me in times of need, sometimes unbeknownst to them.
I will be the first to admit that boundaries and people-pleasing are issues I am continually working on, and I find that there are a lot of us moms, sisters, daughters out there struggling too… so I am here to be one of those good ladies in your life! Like Ricky Nelson said, “you can’t please everyone, so you gotta please yourself”.
When you find yourself struggling with difficult choices because you want everything to be okay for everyone, especially your family, just trust that your mother heart is in the right place; you are trying to take care of your family, and that includes you as well. Remember that whatever is important to you IS important even if your spouse, boss, or whoever doesn’t agree. We moms are doing the best we can! Changes and decisions will always have consequences, and it seems in life, there will always be a critic, someone who isn’t pleased with you or the outcome. Trust me and trust yourself… do whatever YOU want to do! I know you want what’s best for your family, so whatever decision you make, that will be what is best for them. Quit beating yourself up, quit trying to be everything to everyone, and remember that you are coming from a good place. Your desire to prioritize your family and their well-being will always guide you in the right direction because if your loved ones are not well, you’ll make more changes until you know they are taken care of. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself.
I want to end by encouraging you to know that whatever you are feeling is 100% valid, and if your good desires guide your decisions, it really will be for the ultimate good of everyone, even if at the moment not everyone is happy. YOU will be happy, and a happy you is just what the world needs!
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