The holidays can be an awesome time of connection and that Christmas magic! But it can also be a challenging season as a young family.
Why it’s hard:
* You now have two families to participate in holiday celebrations. Sometimes you have to pick between one and the other. That can be hard when you’ve spent 20+ years only with your own family.
* What if your spouse doesn’t like the holiday traditions you grew up with? What if you don’t like theirs? There’s no handbook on creating new traditions together.
* Yay, baby is here! Which means everyone DEFINITELY wants dibs on seeing the baby at holidays. Which means visiting at least two houses in one day.
* Babies get overstimulated by all the holding and loud voices and different faces. Toddlers get hopped-up on Christmas candy and attack aunt Karen’s vintage Christmas town figurines. It can feel like your parenting is under the microscope and that everyone is watching your every move with your kids.
* Between visiting all the family, where is the time for YOUR family, as in you, your husband, and your own children?
* Us moms can feel stressed to DO IT ALL and create Christmas magic for everyone. I think we can all agree that the pressure to create lifelong magical Christmas memories for our children is way too much for us to carry!
We can all use some tips to find a good rhythm for this season and to take the challenges in stride so that we can let go of expectations and just let Christmas be what it is for our families.
* Identify your expectations of Christmas. Do you feel like it is entirely your responsibility to make the Christmas magic happen? Do you feel pressured to create Christmas memories for your child’s entire lifetime? Are those expectations realistic for you to carry? Are they really necessary to make Christmas special?
* Identify your true values and what really matters to you. Is it sending out Christmas cards? Making dozens of cookies for neighbors and friends? Christmas movie nights with your kids? Find what really matters to you and set the rest aside. You don’t have to do it all.
* Set boundaries with your time. Christmas gets busy and there are tons of parties and activities taking up every weekend. It’s OK to say no to some things for the sake of slowing down. It’s OK to leave parties early.
* Communicate your boundaries with extended family. It can get hard carting the kids to several houses in one day or even one weekend. Talk to your spouse and decide when you will visit what families in a manner that suits YOUR immediate family first. Let family know when you will be able to visit with them and that if the kids get too tired or the baby gets overstimulated, you may leave early. It really helps make the holidays more peaceful, especially as a parent.
* Make room for your family to find their holiday rhythm spontaneously. Not every tradition started out intentionally, it just happened when someone did something new on their own and liked it. Not everything has to be planned and packaged with a pretty bow. Embrace the spontaneous joy this season can bring.
When we let go of the pressure that we put ourselves under, we can feel free to enjoy this season simply for what it is. It is special, not because we force it to be, but because it just is, because we can spend it with the ones we love the most and celebrate that love with each other. That is enough for our children. That is enough for us.
Best wishes of a joyful season from my family to yours!
