I love being a mom of boys, I really do. My boys have a 3 year age gap between them and I thought that was perfect—until they started fighting and arguing and mocking each other. The more they fight, the angrier I become, and I hate being the mean, yelling mom.
I’m somewhat at my wits’ end. Even though I tell them I have eyes in the back of my head, they refuse to believe I see everything. And they’re right. I get mad at what I see and since they are both quick to blame the other, I never have the whole story.
There are a few things that have helped my situation. I started trying various bonding activities for them. One activity that seemed to help them cool off and giggle was painting each other by holding a sheet of clear plastic in front of their face. It seems to go well until they start to get bored and one draws devil horns on the other. For a while though, I gained the peace and quiet that I needed.
Another fun activity to get out some aggression is the body bumper balls. They can run and bounce off each other for hours. I’ve also tried an obstacle where they are tied together and have to finish all the obstacles as a team. They weren’t so keen on this because one is taller than the other so he basically dragged his sibling around the yard.
If you have budding artists, let them draw mirror images by taking a piece of paper that is folded in half and having one kid draw an object and the other child has to copy it. Since my boys love to draw, this was a hit!
I have learned, though, that sometimes when I try to initiate games such as who can stare at the other the longest or freeze their face, the one who loses takes it badly, and I then have to take the time to explain why losing is ok. I don’t mind teaching this lesson, but I honestly believe it goes in one ear and out the other.
Another idea that was a hit was having them create paper airplanes and fly them across the room. They loved doing that and created some pretty spectacular planes. Another idea that can work well is having the kids play the lava game. Let them bounce around on the couch and have them designate islands (pillows) on the floor so they can hop around. For my kids, this usually gets their imagination running!
I have had some success putting them together in an overly large t-shirt and giving them a chore to do so that they have to figure out how to finish it by working together. If your kids like to have Nerf wars or wrestle then pillow sumo wrestling might just be up your alley. You need 2 pillows per kid. Put one on the front of them and one on the back, hold them together with a belt around both pillows, and let them go ahead and wrestle around.
Sometimes all it takes to start your kids’ bonding is to designate a daily time for them to play together, even if it’s for 10 minutes.
Hopefully, these activities will help parents who are experiencing their children constantly fighting. These are definitely not a cure-all but when I feel my blood pressure rising, these help to give me a little time to take a minute and calm down.
