Every year when I look at my student roster, I cringe looking at some of the names of my students. Mostly because I can’t even begin to pronounce them, and other times because I can’t believe what parents would name a child. I have had a “Brixit” and a “Brexit” a “Kadlee” and a “Jadleigh.” Not to mention when my own son, Elijah had a “Kalijah” in his class that sounded like a sound you make when you sneeze, I was absolutely dumbfounded by name choices. I am not sure if this is an Idaho Falls thing, but I think a lot of parents around here like to take two names and just combine them and that’s how we get “Kraden” and “Jedathon.”

I am here to ask this to please stop for the sanity of teachers and employers everywhere.

Can we take a “Bladley” and a “Kephiah” seriously on a resume? If an employer can’t pronounce it, I am not sure they’re going to call to ask for an interview.

Names used to be a family tradition, a holy institution of where the child came from. I am currently teaching a William who is the 7th in the family, and all of them go by their middle names, which I think is a cool part of their family history. However, my husband, who is also a teacher, can’t stand when a kindergartener goes by a middle name, as his argument is, “Why didn’t they just name him with the name they wanted in the first place?” He has a valid point (just don’t let him know).

I spent a lot of time contemplating names, considering a wide range of possibilities and negotiating with my husband. I didn’t necessarily want a unique name, but a name that meant something and sounded nicely when I yelled it across the room (if you want to yell at your kids, you need to get the whole name- first, middle, and last- yelled out clearly without stumbling over it). I chose Malachi because it meant “a messenger of God,” and after his rocky start in life, I knew that his purpose meant more. For my second boy, I chose another Biblical name, Elijah, because I loved the old testament story of Elijah, a beautiful prophet of the Lord who helps bring back a widow’s only son back to life. It was always a fascinating story that touched me, and I felt like it was the perfect name for my next child.

I recently did a project with my students, asking them to learn about what their name means, learn about why their parents chose their names, and to reflect on whether or not they liked their names. The overwhelming amount of students did not like their names and came back with stories like “my mom liked the way it sounded” or “my mom and dad combined their names to get my first name” which were interesting responses. I, myself, have never liked my own name- Amanda- because of the boys in the schoolyard who would torture me yelling, “She’s A MAN, DUH….” I have tried nicknames, but “Mandie” never seemed to be someone who could be taken as seriously as Amanda either, not to mention I was later told by a professor that I must be the ultimate feminist since my name is “MAN DIE.” Ugh. Names are tough.

However, I think it’s crucial to consider tradition and mispronunciations when it comes to names. I have had several friends in my life who were tortured by people constantly mispronouncing their names, and even one who just accepted it and merely lived her life mispronounced. That was heartbreaking to me.

A name should be important. It should stand for something. It should be an easy task to see a name and know how it should be said aloud.

I think it’s essential for all of us to consider that when naming our children. Instead of just trying to be unique and different, consider the continual ramifications of a lifelong weird name that will continuously be said incorrectly.

Amanda
Amanda Byrd is a dreamer who can’t sit still. She is the CEO of Rare Byrd Editing, a growing editing company that specializes in copy and developmental editing for manuscripts ready for publication. She has been a high school teacher for twelve years. In her free time, she is a freelance addiction counselor, a humanitarian, a mother to two beautiful boys, and a world traveler. She loves to go to concerts, musicals, and visit museums. She has two master’s degrees and longs to one day finally afford her Ph.D. Although devastating health problems have slowed her down, she spends her day always planning her next adventure.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Loved this…even though I’m a guilty one. My son does go by his middle name because he is a 5th generation with the same name. I feel the frustration every new school year as I have to explain that to the teacher and wish there was an easy way to change that on his school file. We felt a lot of family pressure to continue the tradition. But at least it’s a classic one that everyone can pronounce.

  2. I totally agree. One thing that I made sure to consider when I was naming my daughters was if the title Dr would sound good with their name. I’m not expecting my daughters to be doctors, but I wanted a name that would sound good as a grown women and not just be a name that described a little girl.

    Also our last name is super unique and so we went with very traditional names spelled the traditional way. I even had nurses at the hospital thank my husband and I for choosing names they could spell and say.

    And PS, I can’t believe someone really named their kid Brexit. I thought that was just a joke from a meme.

  3. I disagree with most of this-not that there is only one right opinion on names:) My name is different, mispronounced, and by roasters only-People often assume I am male. However, I would not trade my name for the convenience of buying a keychain with my name. I get to define and create MY own meaning to my name. Defining and sharing with others (as I get asked a lot) MY meaning provides them with a greater understanding of WHO I am. I know the name Malachi means a messenger of God but what does that tell me about your son specifically-not much. However I doubt he hardly ever gets asked about his name and has the opportunity to share WHO he is beyond his name.
    I obviously can’t say I haven’t been given job interviews based on my name-as I wouldn’t have knowledge to why I wasn’t offered an interview. I can say that my professional life and even working in high school and college I have not struggled to obtain employment. So instead of dreading the first day of class and pronouncing names wrong, take the time to have kids share with you their name and what it means to them-not their parents.

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