“You are only taking off 4 weeks? Why?”
This is the alarming question I get frequently when people ask me how long my maternity leave is. It’s an awkward question. It’s a question that is harmless, but puts me in a very uncomfortable position. I have to then explain that I am not fortunate enough to have paid maternity leave and we cannot afford for me to take more than a month off from work. It’s just the sad reality of my job and many other women’s.
I think, as a society, we forget that women don’t get to stay home as much anymore. We live in an economy that makes it nearly impossible for one parent to stay at home. While I don’t mind working, I don’t get the choice some other women do. Many jobs do not pay for maternity leave- my career as a cosmetologist does not. My previous job as a fitness coach did not pay for maternity leave either. If I take time off, we lose money that pays our bills.
So, please, stop asking.
While the question may be harmless, the conversation afterwards is not. I always feel so awkward explaining that I cannot afford more than four weeks off from my job. I have to work to provide for my family. I wish I could take six to eight weeks like other women, but I don’t have that luxury. I wish I could spend more time acclimating to the new schedule a baby invokes, but I just can’t.
I know we can’t always be filtering our words to not offend others, but we need to be aware of the situation. Most women don’t choose to take only a few weeks off after having a baby unless they have to. Stop asking why. The answer, whatever it is, is usually hard for her to give and leads to embarrassment all around. Let’s all avoid some awkwardness and not ask why a woman chooses to take the time that she does. You can simply find out how long and leave it at that.
