Birth: the start of life as a physically separate being.
A cold, clinical definition for an experience that is anything but. Every one of my birth experiences has seemed like a culmination of difficult months while pregnant. In other words, the birth was the absolute light at the end of the tunnel.
As a mother, I take pictures of my kids when they do hard things and when they accomplish goals. I gush with pride and say, “Hold your paper up for a picture!” Why, then, was it so difficult to allow myself the luxury of hiring a birth photographer? Labor and delivery was a hard thing. Pregnancy was a hard thing. Creating human life is something to be proud of, yet I was almost embarrassed to capture any part of it on camera.
I completely understand that some things are meant to be private and some are just sacred, but to be completely honest, I’m the friend who bares it all (generally figuratively!) and isn’t ashamed to talk about the more taboo or “private” matters. With that in mind, I sought out a photographer whom I felt could capture the beautiful moments of delivering my 3rd son! In my search, I came across Katie Wells. I met her through our headshot session for the blog and she was clear and concise with her directions during the shoot and was able to capture a real smile in my headshot. After contacting her (and almost fainting at the price of the birth story), my husband and I decided we wanted to go for it. SPOILER ALERT: the price was MORE than worth it!
Obviously, labor is unpredictable. As a complete Type A control freak, I was nervous I would somehow go into labor while Katie was out of town or busy and repeatedly assured her that I wouldn’t make it to my due date. In my head, I was going to have a 2-hour labor and she would probably be out of town. Have I mentioned I tend to go to the worst case scenario in 0.2 seconds? She assured me she would be around and just asked me to update her after my weekly Dr appointments so she could at least try to predict when it might be close. She put my mind at ease and wasn’t the least bit stressful to work with.
When the time came, I sent her a quick text letting her know I had been admitted and was 4cm dilated. Since it wasn’t my first baby, she rushed right over from her home in Rigby. I was a bit nervous to have someone present for something that felt so sacred, but she fit right in with the band of nurses, doctors, and my husband and dad. I guess the thing that worried me the most was that she would be uncomfortable. I didn’t want to have to worry about being modest during such an uncomfortable experience. I am, at my core, selfish, and the thought of having to censor myself or cover up for someone else’s sake or comfort during MY labor made me really uncomfortable. She IMMEDIATELY assured me that this was all about me and that she was just there. I didn’t have to adjust my experience in any way for her and MAN was she true to her word! I was in labor for around 19 hours and she was there for all of it. I didn’t know it at the time, but she slept in the lobby. I am so grateful she stuck it out with us!
I cannot gush enough over the experience. She was in and out of the room quietly but was involved in conversations when she was around. She felt like a friend and also a professional. There were moments during which I just did NOT want to be photographed (during contractions or receiving my epidural, for example) and I could hear her shutter click and felt instantly self-conscious. I am SO glad she captured some of those images, though. There is something so raw and so beautiful about remembering the pain and the zen place I had to find to get through it. In those pictures, I see my strength and beauty clearer than in the posed images taken the day after baby was born. The picture of my dad kissing my hand melts me and the one of my hand on the side of my husband’s face helps me remember the beauty and strength and magic that took place in that room. I have her to thank for that.
Overall, if I had known what the experience would be like, I would have been willing to pay double. We received 35 black and white images and a short video and I love EVERY. SINGLE. IMAGE! I’m grateful for her artistry and her friendship. I’m proud I was brave enough to book her. Most of all, I am in love with the beautiful memories of one of the most important days of my life!
You can watch my birth story here with the password: gigi
