Before children, a woman may experience pressures…what career should she pursue? When will she find a husband? What is she talented at doing? She navigates them somehow. And then someday she becomes pregnant.
First, the reactions. Joy, congratulations, concern, warnings.
And then, the questions, followed by the shoulds and should nots. “Are you planning on birthing unmedicated? You should just get the epidural” “Are you planning on breastfeeding? You shouldn’t use a pacifier at all”
Of all the questions, there is the ultimate… “Will you work after the baby is born?”
Before she answers, she must decide who she wants to be:
The Working Mother
This woman is focused and goal-oriented. She got her degree for a reason. She needs to work to feel fulfilled. She doesn’t mind other people helping to raise her children, her children are just fine. Her home is probably a mess, and they probably don’t have home cooked food for dinner. But that’s ok, because mama brings home the bacon for Saturday morning.
The Stay at Home Mother
This woman may have planned her whole life to stay home. She’s only a mom, so she probably has a lot of time to relax. She might choose to homeschool just for fun, or maybe make every meal from scratch. Her college degree has been cast by the wayside, but she is following a woman’s true calling and devoting her entire life to her children.
There you have it. Your two options.
…maybe that’s what it feels like, at least. There is only one or the other, and you must accept the assumptions made of your choice, both positive and negative.
But the truth is, there are way more options than that.
There is the mother working or going to school online, while her children are napping or at school or being watched by a nanny.
There is the mother working part-time.
There is the mother working out of necessity, to support her family.
There is the single mother clothing and feeding her children, putting a roof over their heads.
There is the mother staying at home out of necessity, perhaps because childcare is expensive for most families or maybe she has a special needs child.
There is the mother working nights, home with her kids during their daytime hours.
There is the stay at home mother with a busy side business.
There is the mother who works while the father is home with the kids.
There is so much more than simply “work” or “home”.
Sometimes going to work or staying home is only for a season.
Sometimes the choice may be made based on finances, and sometimes there are other factors at play.
Sometimes the mother chose to work simply because she wants to.
These circumstances are not the same for everyone. Every family situation is different, so it only makes sense that every mother’s working situation is different.
No matter your situation, there will be someone who disagrees. And that’s ok. You don’t have to explain the circumstances or justify your choices.
Wherever you’re at, as long as it is serving yours and your family’s needs, it is the right choice.
