Trigger. Set off, touch off, provoke, stir up, cause or set in motion. These are just a few of the definitions of trigger. With these in mind, what situations in your house trigger your emotions, mama? Is it the toothpaste that has a hard time staying in the tube? Wet towels on the floor? Or is it the water on the floor after your kids take a bath or finding a half-eaten apple under the bed? What if someone forgot to put the milk back in the fridge and you find it sitting on the counter in the morning? Triggered yet? If you are, you’re not alone.
Let’s step back for a second or five and look at the why.
Frustration is usually the base cause, or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, overworked, or tired? The toothpaste is usually a money thing, frustrated that we spend hard-earned money for the toothpaste to be just wasted. The wet towels become musty, a smell that’s hard to get out (try laundry stripping-amazing). And the water on the floor could lead to damage to the floor or mold. Generally, we have a legitimate reason for our triggers but not a legitimate reason to let the trigger control us or our emotions.
We are reacting instead of acting.
This makes me think of babies and keeping extra clothes in the diaper bag because crap happens, literally. I remember bringing our daughter home from a trip to the ER wrapped in those blue “towels” that they have. After the initial pediatrician visit, we were sent to the ER for x rays to confirm pneumonia and he had thrown up on numerous outfits. I thought I was prepared for normal circumstances and I was, but this was not a normal circumstance. Did I suddenly pack more outfits? No. I still, to this day, plan for 90% normal of our current situations and just remember crap happens. Act and not react. Respond to the best of your ability, even if that means sometimes you wipe up toothpaste from the doorknobs and go on to storytime.
Change your way of thinking or choose to not let normal, everyday events cause you to become upset and angry. Even though my only child is grown and flown, I still go through these emotions. The majority of the time it stems from frustration at work that I bring home with me and unpack as I walk in the door. I am learning to keep that at work. I listen to a podcast to get my mind off work for my drive home and have totally forgotten the frustration when I pull in the driveway. A past trigger for me was the “what’s for dinner?” question. The texts would start around lunchtime and I would get worked up, thinking “why is it just me that has to cook?” and so on. Then I started meal planning, many many years ago. The funny thing about the meal plan was that because I had a plan, even if something changed or I wasn’t interested in fixing what I had planned or the fam didn’t want it, it was easy to switch to something else.
When we had three of us sharing one bathroom, it was hard; I can’t imagine more than that sharing one bathroom. Yes, toothpaste globs were in the sink or wet towels on the floor. When it happened, it was a reminder for all of us and if it happened again, it took seconds to take care of. Understand that motherhood is generally a thankless job. So you have to get things set right within yourself and you have to choose your battles. Yes, teaching your children to take care of themselves is something we do; however, sometimes, it’s not the time for that reminder.
