I have recently decided to start keeping track (or at least attempt to keep track) of the valuable lessons other beings have taught me throughout my adult life. The list is long but I’d love to share ten of those lessons, in no particular order:
- It’s never too late to start something new. Growing up we had to relocate quite a few times due to my dad’s job. He was in the lumber industry and in order to advance in his career, he was required to move around a lot. At some point, he decided that he was tired of moving his family around and changed jobs to ensure that his three kids got to graduate high school in the same town. He had to reinvent himself a couple of times over the years when recession and life hit.
- You don’t have to be good at something to enjoy it. I always try to excel in whatever I do. When we moved to the area, we discovered that we’d have to get involved in some kind of outdoor activity to keep us going during the winter months. Hailing from the southern hemisphere we seldom saw snow and finding our “ski-legs” was quite the challenge. I could just not get to a point where I felt comfortable on the slopes. I shared my woes with a good friend. She just laughed and told me that she thought of herself as a very average skier but that it never hindered her from being outside on the slopes and loving every moment of it. I have since discovered cross-country skiing and I love it!
- You don’t have to be the leader all of the time. Watching our small herd of horses one realizes that they just want to know where they belong in their herd. Some of them really don’t care who is leading the pack as long as they know who the leader is and where they find themselves in the hierarchical structure.
- Be enthusiastic. Raising a child made me painfully aware of how I sometimes lack in the enthusiasm department. My son’s enthusiasm has been life-changing. Be it the discovery of his feet for the first time or ongoing excitement about art projects or music, he faces every new experience with the greatest enthusiasm.
- Exercise (or work) and then rest. Throughout the years our dogs have entertained and lightened our spirits with their exuberant running and their ability to almost immediately thereafter sleep like there is no tomorrow. I would like to strive to really relax when it’s time to do so, preferably with a good book.
- A girl must always have access to a book and a hairstylist. I have always admired my mom’s way of coping with new surroundings. When we moved to a new town, she always believed that one could fit right in if you joined your local library and found a great hairstylist. Throughout the years I have really found this to be true. Libraries create a sense of community and every girl understands the joys of visiting one’s hairdresser.
- Lift up your chin and put on some lipstick (or mascara or whatever…) Another of my mom’s nuggets of wisdom. When life puts you down, just lift up that chin, put on some lipstick, and face the world. This is a very simplified way of viewing life in general. My mom is not one to generally simplify things. She has lived through many hardships. There are those days where you just don’t have a plan or a solution right that very minute and that is just fine. Some days the best you can do is to lift up your chin and wear lipstick. Tomorrow is a new day.
- You don’t have to be everything to everyone all the time. A work mentor taught me this. This applied during those years when I was building a career and it still applies many years later. It’s a good mantra to keep in mind as a mother. We try our best but we cannot always be there for every little thing. Sometimes you’ll be there to just pick up the pieces and offer a shoulder to cry on and that in itself is a blessing.
- You are allowed to be happy. For real – my older brother struggled for a long time. Various mental health issues and just a general struggle to find his place in life. At thirty he started an architectural course. It was as if things just clicked for him after that. He discovered his niche and himself. He constantly reminds me that you have to make changes to yourself or your surroundings if happiness avoids you.
- When life gets you down, you can lie down on your bed BUT don’t take off your shoes. You will need to get up again – this piece of wisdom always brings tears to my eyes. My youngest brother had leukemia 15 years ago. When my mother had to struggle through breast cancer years later he would often tell her to take the time to rest but to always keep those shoes on. This can apply to any difficult time you might be going through. Remember to keep those shoes on because you’ll need them when you get up!
