I married a hoarder. We’d been living together for five years when we got married, so it’s not like I didn’t know what I was getting into. We’ve been together for 18 years now so I’m finally coming to accept the fact that he will always like STUFF and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Tools, camera gear, firearms, tools, hunting/camping equipment, old video game consoles, tools, car parts, tools, workout accessories, and MORE FREAKIN TOOLS.
We built a 1,000 square foot two-story workshop on our property a year ago. It’s now full but doesn’t seem to have made a dent in our basement, shed, silo, or greenhouse (all currently used for storage). How is that even possible? I know he didn’t go out and buy a ton more stuff. I think it expands when we’re not looking like some kind of alien tool-filled mass of living junk.
I can’t lay all the blame at his door, however (though I try!). I’m not so great at the housekeeping thing. I keep things mostly clean, but I will always choose sitting on the sofa with a book and a cup of tea over cleaning my house. And I’m not one of those women who can’t take a break until the house is clean. I got over that a lonnnnnnng time ago. We, also, have four cats and two kids under five. So even when I do clean, every surface is newly covered with cat hair and crumbs and kid paraphernalia before I’ve even put the vacuum away.
I’m not indifferent to it; I do care. I find my house embarrassing. Particularly when making new friends; it takes me a long time to get comfortable enough with someone to invite them to my house without fear of being judged.
Marie Kondo gives me anxiety.
I won’t be reading her book or watching her TV show, but just the fact that she’s out there being all organized and de-cluttered and inspiring others to do the same stresses me out. I know I could take the time to organize and deep-clean, but I don’t and I won’t. It’s not what I want to spend my time doing and it wouldn’t last anyway. Plus, my husband will surely justify why every single thing he owns is necessary and “sparks joy” so the de-cluttering would be a non-starter. Believe me, I’ve heard him do it.
I have been trying to train myself to relax.
To count our blessings and think about the mess and the clutter and even the dirt as evidence of a happy family living a life together in a small house. I’m a working mom. I don’t have much time at home to clean and when I am at home, I don’t want to spend every minute on housework. The multitude of tools in every corner is because my husband is very skilled in home repair/renovation and auto mechanics, so we hardly ever have to call on outside help when something needs to be done.
I just struggle with the fact that other people manage to combine seemingly happy busy lives with clean, tidy, light-filled houses.
All that is true, I do believe it, I just struggle with the fact that other people manage to combine seemingly happy busy lives with clean, tidy, light-filled houses. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that and I have learned to stop following people on social media whose ridiculously perfect houses (through no fault of their own) make me feel bad.
I’ve identified the areas of my house that make me feel better when they are clean (the kitchen sink and the living room floor, for example), and I try to focus on those while ignoring the rest. I’ve reached a certain level of peace with it. I know I value my husband and my kids more than I do a clean and tidy house (the jury’s still out on the cats, however…), and I know we’re not really living in a true hoarder house. But I certainly do appreciate when I find a fellow mom who seems to be battling a constant war with STUFF just like me. Are you one? Let’s be friends. I might even invite you over.
On the flip side, Marie Kondo and decluttering may be for you…
The Konmari Method :: How It Organized Clothes and Transformed My Closet
