My business/working origin story is long and riddled with childhood trauma, and sprinkles of adult trauma for good measure, so I’ll save that for another day.
Today I’d like to focus on the now, sharing the lessons of a successful career and multi-business owner, who is first and foremost a wife and a mother… in no particular order of course.
- Pursuing My Passions Makes Me A Better Mother. You read that right but I’ll wait here while you recheck. I am a better mother because I am also an individual. When I first became a mother, my kids were everything. I went to every event. I made fancy lunches and desserts for events. I made every game and did all the crafts. I also got major burnout. I have personally never heard of burnout used towards motherhood, or parenting in general, but I’m here to tell you, it’s a thing. Symptoms may include; moodiness, exhaustion, sleep and concentration issues, chronic illness, etc. Sound familiar? Since following my dreams I have the enthusiasm I once did when I attend events and they fill me in about their days. It’s no longer a chore, it’s something I look forward to doing again!
- I’ve learned strong boundaries. This is and was the hardest lesson. I’m still working with my therapist about it honestly. With a day job, two businesses, a podcast, mandatory weekly date nights, and raising kids, I have a tight schedule. One of my boundaries is that my children have to give me at least 24-hour notice for anything during school (work hours). I get at least 2 hours before an outside-of-work hour function. If I don’t, I will not provide them with a ride. They’re on their own to find a way to and from. In theory, this is simple. It’s within the window? Yes, if I can get it scheduled at work. If not No. WRONG! Imagine your teenage son frantically calling because he forgot the history project he worked on all week. He has to have it in 10 minutes or he’s getting marked down a grade. Now how does “no” feel? I’ll tell you, it feels terrible. But why are my boundaries so important to enforce? Because it teaches my children self-responsibility. It teaches them to respect other people’s wishes and words. When I dropped everything and did whatever they wanted, I was teaching them I was a doormat, and that’s not something I desire my children to think of anyone.
- I’m HAPPY. I do not feel we give this as many accolades as we should. I feel fulfilled in the utilization of my brain and the adult conversations I get to have. Then I leave work, present and truly enjoying the time I have with my family and friends. I spend one night every week rekindling the strong bond I still have with my husband to remind us why we go through all the hard things together. And I am the loudest in the crowd at my son’s hockey game or daughter’s band concerts. I am happy, in every aspect of my life. And isn’t that what life is for?
My life does not look like yours, and I am now 100% comfortable and confident in that. Because I am unique in my needs, as are you. And I respect you for doing what makes you happy, no matter what anyone else thinks.
