You’ve seen the commercials, the pins on Pinterest, and all the gorgeous pictures on Instagram of the perfect Christmas setting. So what do we do? Make ourselves miserable chasing that elusive idea.
Quit Chasing the Perfect Christmas
Let me tell you, first there is no Perfect Christmas! No matter how many pins you save to your Christmas folders, no matter how many free printable planners you download and no matter how much you spend to buy more ornaments, garlands or presents. It will not happen. There will always be disagreements among family or friends, there will always be someone who is disappointed that they didn’t get their ideal gift, even though they already have the same thing just an older version, and what do we get, tired and miserable because it wasn’t a Hallmark moment.
Also, we all celebrate differently and you know what, that is what makes the Holidays great. Don’t get me wrong, we always want to try and do our best but there are limits. Remember perfect is not about being detailed oriented, perfect is really about fear, the fear of failure even the fear of success, it’s also about the fear of disappointing those around us. To stop perfectionism we have to stare it straight on and recognize it for what it really is, and that is fear.
Let me give you the hairy scary truth from someone who has tried and failed and made everyone miserable! Did you know it’s possible to be scarier than the wicked witch at Christmas? For a few years, I tried to do everything: hosted ornament and cookie decorating parties for my daughter, bought numerous gingerbread houses to decorate, plus going to the candy store to buy extra candy and such to decorate with. I would try to decorate every room in the house, for a while I wanted two trees, so I could have the one with all the ornaments we have collected over the years and one theme tree. Never did get the second theme tree. I would rearrange the ornaments after everyone went to bed to try and have that perfect symmetry. I am seriously making myself sick to my stomach thinking about all this. Hang on while I take an alka seltzer. Then I wanted to attend every concert, play, tree lighting or holiday event we could. I wanted perfect Christmas photos and handcrafted Christmas cards that I would make, taking forever to get them out, and completely unhappy with how they looked and promising myself next year I would start sooner and make them fancier, ugh!
Make Christmas Perfect For YOU!
The pressure I put on myself was awful and it’s not easy to stop. To this day I still find myself making unrealistic plans and I just simply tell myself you are losing the meaning of Christmas, and that is the secret to losing the perfection, think of what Christmas really means to you and keep that in the forefront, not unrealistic expectations, that’s the fear again. The only person you need to compare yourself to is you, that does not mean you hold yourself to a higher set of standards than you do others, keep reminding yourself of what is at the core of this desire to have everything perfect, fear of failure or fear of disappointment.
Love to decorate cookies and gingerbread houses? Do it on a smaller scale, buy the gingerbread kits and stick with that alone. You can even buy the plain cookies at the grocery stores and then all you have to do is decorate. Spending lots of money on outdoor light displays? Go with less lights and enjoy the beauty of simplicity and then drive around and see all the lights, pack a thermos with hot cocoa and enjoy the time together and time talking about why the kids like which lights. Let the kids decorate the tree and remember soon enough you will be the only one decorating it. Spend the evenings reading books, playing games or watching Christmas movies, pop some popcorn and enjoy the time. Memory making not maxing out Mom.
