Well, here it is again… Hispanic Heritage month and another reminder of just how different I am from my people. Ok, let me back up and start from the beginning….
My name is GiGi, maiden name Dosamantes. I own East Idaho Moms! Yes, the premier parenting resource in East Idaho is not only female-owned, but minority-owned! Yay! I was born in Mexico DF and raised up and down the East Coast. When I say up and down, I mean we moved. A LOT. I was raised by my very hardworking immigrant parents who came to this country to give me a better opportunity in life. I can honestly say that I am living the dream they dreamed for me. I am married to a wonderful American soldier, live in a beautiful 3,500 square foot home, drive a Buick, own a business, and have a beautiful family!
Honestly, talking to my mom the other day, we were both in tears as we said, “We made it!”
It wasn’t easy on my parents, though. They immigrated to this country with very little. Little money, little expectations, little knowledge of the language. They had a work ethic and a desire to succeed. They also had, well, a little ME! I was 2 years old when we moved to the United States and I didn’t know what was going on. I learned Spanish first, but English was so close after, you could say it was simultaneous. Though I have very little formal training in writing/reading Spanish (which is why Shelby helps translate my writing into pretty Spanish,) I do speak it fluently, if a bit stiffly. I am grateful for everything my parents have done, and continue to do, to support my success and happiness. I am lucky to have the incredible parents I have and wouldn’t change it for the world. I have an incredible relationship with both of them and love having them as grandparents to my kiddos.
None of this changes that, ok, Mom and Dad? But look… I wish you had raised me with my heritage.
Growing up in the early 90s was a very different cultural environment than we currently live in. Differences weren’t embraced the way they are now. I was raised to fit in. From my language to my clothing and entertainment, my parents worked so hard to make sure I fit in with my peers. I spoke perfect English by the time I started school even though my parents STILL have heavy accents 30 years after moving to this country. In early elementary, a teacher tried to put me into an ESL (English as a Second Language) class and I remember my parents fighting for me because I didn’t need that! I excelled in school and won the Spelling Bees and Social Studies fair and I had little white Cabbage Patch dolls and Polly Pockets and Barbies. I never realized I was different from my peers because my parents worked so hard to make sure I was treated the same as any American girl would be.
While talking to my mom the other day, she said through tears, “We didn’t raise you like a Mexican girl. We was trying to fit in to America.”
Grateful. I’ve said that already, right!? I am so grateful. I have only been openly discriminated against a couple handfuls of times and each time was so hurtful. Recently, I had a lady speak to me in Spanish in my front yard as she was looking for her lost dog. Although I replied to her query in perfect English, something about me (dark eyes, brown skin, dark hair) gave her the impression that I would better understand her if she spoke her poor Spanish. It was hurtful and, frankly, annoying. I KNOW that because my parents raised me to fit into American culture, I experienced events like this SO much less than my peers.
The downside of this? I am disconnected from my culture. I celebrate 4th of July, but not Dia de la Independencia. We celebrate Halloween, but my kids learned about Dia de los Muertos from Coco. I cook casseroles and crockpot meals, but can’t make tamales and haven’t figured out my mom’s arroz con leche recipe. My kids are raised on Jose Ole taquitos, mazapanes, and Duvalin as their Mexican food. I am ashamed and embarrassed that my boys don’t speak Spanish and so excited they’re enrolled in Spanish through D91 Online Academy.
Of all the things I wish I had done differently as a mother, I wish I had engrained their culture and heritage in them from a younger age. The good news is that I can start now. I can teach them to make tamales and tortillas. We can learn about Pan de Reyes and Vicente Fernandez, Mana, and Thalia! We can learn about Mexican culture together!
I know there is an entire generation of us out there searching for belonging. Searching to fit in to a community that embraces our differences and will help us to grow as mothers and women. We are daughters of immigrants and we are raising first generation Americans to be beautiful humans with cultural depth and a knowledge of the hard work required to make it in a foreign land. Will you be a part of my community?
