As the holiday season ends and the Idaho winter sets in, I cannot help but think it is simply the worst time of the year.
I struggle with our winters. It feels like everlasting darkness and cold. I long for the warmth and brightness of summer. I find it interesting that the natural state of the earth allows for times of darkness and times of light, evidenced by the cycles of the earth both in its rotation creating a day and night, as well as its revolution creating seasons where more darkness and more light occur naturally. Why are darkness and cold not eliminated in our world and in our lives? Why can’t our world and our lives be enveloped solely in light? The answers to these questions lie in deep philosophical hypotheses upon which I do not dare to expound right now. Instead, I simply accept that there is a natural pattern and distinction of darkness and light in our physical world and our individual lives. Our world often pits light and darkness, ease and turmoil, connection and disconnection, sorrow and joy in direct contrast to each other. Sometimes the darkness is overpowering. We experience what seems like endless emotional winters where we yearn for light, connection, and peace.
So how do we get through it all? How do we effectively help others through their seemingly endless devastating periods of darkness and cold?
We radiate light and connection for others.
I’ve thought a lot about this idea of light and the distinction from darkness. I think sometimes we think that light must be big and bright to be counted as a resourceful form of light. We believe that to change the world we must act in big, bold life-transforming ways to truly make a difference. A feat many of us probably will never achieve.
It is true we all need to find big powerful sources of light to get through this life. These are different for everyone. They are the ways we find meaning and purpose as individuals. It is like a train going through a tunnel and needing a big robust light to illuminate the way. Hopefully, we can access and use the big sources of light throughout our lives, but this is not my focus today.
Have you ever woken up in the dark to someone turning on a light? Or how about a young child shining a flashlight directly into your eyes? Light sometimes can be overwhelming and uncomfortable. In these instances, we may turn away and shun the light. What if you were to look directly into the light of the sun during an eclipse? You could blind yourself by that light source’s power.
That is so interesting to me. If light is good, how can it be overwhelming and blinding?
Sometimes there is value in small, maybe flickering sources of light.
What are small sources of light? A smile? A hug? A funny meme? Maybe it is the moments we experience that another person sees us, hears us, listens to us, comforts us, supports us. Maybe it is the moments you feel like you cannot go on and someone shows up with just a tiny burst of kindness. Maybe its when for whatever reason we are stuck in the darkness and instead of someone trying to get us to positively think our way out of the darkness, they sit with us and show us we are not alone in our darkness.
The smallest acts of compassion can be enough light to truly help someone without overwhelming them.
Be the light, they say. Sometimes this means a bright, continuous source of light and sometimes it means a small, consistent, glimmer of light. What truly matters is that we offer light and connection as a distinction from darkness and despair. If you feel what you offer is small, unnoticeable, and inconsequential— it is not. I believe that in many ways these small bursts of empathetic moments are really what help us get through life the most. Most times if it is super dark and there’s small flicker of light in the form of a true connection with another person it will be detected and valued. It might be the difference that allows someone to keep going. It certainly may be more worthwhile to have the small light in those moments of utter darkness than an overwhelming, blinding light. Maybe sometimes or maybe even most of the time we need consistent light that is not overbearing. Any amount of light, even in its smallest forms, will be in distinction to darkness and therefore valuable. Maybe if we could fulfill our needs through big sources of life, we would miss out on the opportunities we have to find connection and light within each other. Maybe those small moments are key to living a rich, fulfilling life.
Perhaps finding the value in the small sparks of light helps us to value and build relationships with other striving humans as we deliberately search for moments of connection.
The darkness, pain, disconnection, chaos of life is real. Most of us thoroughly and personally know struggle. The need for light—whether strong, powerful sources or small, gleaming traces—is significant in this world. You (yes, you) possess the capacity to add light to all of us. We need your light. We need those moments that strengthen us. Own your light.
Great thoughts! We can be the light for other people and, like you said, sometimes it is just a smile, a hug, or a kind word. Whenever darkness threatens to envelope us, we need to look for the light and work our way back!