The Best Blind Date Ever

Imagine you are going on a blind date. Often the moments leading up to it can be nerve-wracking. You didn’t know the guy’s name before going so you couldn’t Facebook stalk him, you wonder what he will look like, just hoping that he’s somewhat attractive. And usually, unless he’s a total lunatic, it usually isn’t as bad as you anticipated it would be.

Now, take that experience and think about how it relates to birth. Going into labor and delivery can often feel like a blind date. You don’t know what your baby is going to look like yet, you don’t yet know their personality, and you’re really hoping you two hit it off right from the start. Except unlike a blind date, you don’t really know what the day or time of the date is. But you know it’s going to happen eventually!

Even with all the uncertainty of waiting for your baby, I would hope that there is still a sense of excitement for each soon-to-be mom. It’s a time of change and discovering an inner strength you didn’t know you had.

So why do some seasoned mothers feel the need to prepare other soon-to-be moms by scaring them when it comes to labor and birth?

I have a close family member who, for a long time, was terrified of birth. So many women in her life felt the need to tell her how hard and painful labor was. They would share horror stories that just made her more and more afraid of that day when her baby would come. Rather than explaining how wonderful it could be, they scared her. How does that help her feel prepared and excited for such a life-changing event? I believe we as mothers need to help those who are pregnant for the first, or even second and third time. Labor should not be something that we fear. It can be an incredible, spiritual, and life-altering event.

I believe we as mothers need to help those who are pregnant for the first, or even second and third time. Labor should not be something that we fear. It can be an incredible, spiritual, and life-altering event.

I think of the day I had my son as one of the best days of my life. Every second of it! Even when labor was hard and I didn’t feel in control of my body, I found a strength I didn’t know I had. I didn’t go into it scared because I chose positivity and education to help prepare me. If I had listened to the voices of others who didn’t think I could do it unmedicated, it probably wouldn’t have been the same experience. From the moment my water broke, I didn’t feel fear. I was excited! I only wish every expecting mom felt the same way about the day she gives birth.

Yes, the first time is all new and you don’t know exactly what to expect. But if a new mom remembers all the positive experiences other moms have told her about, she will feel much more prepared and excited. Fear can be defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. Yes, there are instances where the life of the mom or baby is threatened and there is a cause for fear, but a vast majority of the time, there should be no need for fear. Childbirth is the safest it has ever been and thanks to modern medicine, we don’t have near the number of deaths related to it. There is pain, but like I tell most people, I would never describe contractions as painful. I choose to use the word intense because that’s exactly what they are. Fear causes a woman to tense up and that often hinders the progression of labor. A woman in labor needs to feel somewhat relaxed and ready for this incredible and very difficult journey to meet her baby.

So can we all commit to sharing the positive about birth to expecting mothers?

We should be lifting each other up and sharing in the joy and excitement of these women about to embark on the greatest journey in the world: motherhood! How about we start looking at labor and birth as the best blind date ever! And you just know you’re going to love that baby because it really is love at first sight! And as cliche as it sounds, once that baby is in your arms, you forget all the pain you went through to get them here!

If you’re interested in my birth story, you can read it here.

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