My mom found a lump while she was nursing me when I was 6 months old. She made an appointment and had a checkup with her doctor. I can only imagine how scared she was as she waited for the results. Within days, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy and was very optimistic. She went through chemotherapy and radiation for the next two years and fought like a champion. She lit up the room everywhere she went and everyone that knew her loved her. Everyone around her thought of her as their best friend because she had a special gift to make everyone feel so important and valued. She definitely made her mark on this world. She sewed detailed costumes and dresses, she made great food and was well known for her incredible laugh. Until the very end, she never thought that she wouldn’t be here to raise us and watch us grow up because she tried to keep a positive perspective and just planned on getting better. She got an extra long oxygen cord so she could still lay me down in my crib at night and tried to do everything for my sisters and I until she was too weak to even move. She spent her days bringing joy to others and smiling through the hardest of days.
Unfortunately, cancer took my mom from me when I was just 2 1/2. She was only 34, a week away from her birthday. My two sisters who were 10 and 7 when she passed away, and I miss her every single day. Grief comes in stages and is a journey. Though I don’t remember her, I’ve been told by many who knew my mom that she was an amazing mom, wife, friend, daughter, and woman.
Losing your mom changes your entire life and I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be with her in it. I would love to just hear her voice or give her a hug. Because cancer took my mom, I have had to learn how to live without her and it’s definitely easier said than done. Yes, it hurts a little when others talk about their moms even now, not because I don’t want to hear about them but because I wish mine was here too. I didn’t get to lean on her or learn from her growing up. She wasn’t physically there for my graduations, or my wedding, or at the birth of my children. I can’t call her when I’m having a rough day or just need some advice. I know that even if she was here, she wouldn’t have all the answers but oh how great it would be to have her support, love, and wisdom. I wish I had fond memories with her and she was here to be the wonderful grandma I know she would be for my kids and my sisters’ kids. All I have is other people’s memories and pictures. All I can do is try to be half the mom for my kids that she was for us.
Though having a family history of breast cancer doesn’t put you at an extreme higher risk, it does slightly increase your chances so my sisters and I do our part to prevent it. We have regular checkups, try to stay active and also go get our mammograms done every year. We stress and worry until we get the results and so far have been cancer free which we are so grateful for. The trauma of losing your mom makes you see life differently and we want to do everything we can to keep our kids from going through this as we did. Medical technology has come a long way since our mom was diagnosed and received treatments. If caught early, nearly all breast cancers are treatable which is why preventative care is so important. This brings me some peace. So much of life is out of our control and is unpredictable but we have to do what we can to stay healthy and prevent the worst. As October is breast cancer awareness month, it’s a great time to get your mammogram. Let the pink ribbons you see everywhere this time of year be a reminder for you to call and make your appointment. If you’ve had a close relative who had had breast cancer, you need to start having yearly mammograms 10 years before their initial diagnoses. They’re not as bad as you’ve heard they are and the relief from knowing you’re cancer free is great. They are uncomfortable but not necessarily painful. You got this!
If caught early, nearly all breast cancers are treatable which is why preventative care is so important. This brings me some peace. So much of life is out of our control and is unpredictable but we have to do what we can to stay healthy and prevent the worst.
Get Your Mammograms
There are several places around town to get them done and some have great incentives if you get yours done this month so call and schedule yours today. EIRMC is doing Mammo Mondays where when you go on Mondays this month, you’ll receive a gift and refreshments along with your mammogram. https://eirmc.com/campaigns/mammo-mondays
Mountain View Hospital has downloadable coupons to help offset the cost of your mammogram. Depending on your age and family history, many insurances will cover one a year, check with your healthcare provider and check out their website for your coupon. https://www.mountainviewhospital.org/breast-cancer-awareness
There’s a great program through health and welfare called Idaho Women’s Health Check which provides access to screening services for women who are uninsured or underserved. Check out their website for more information. https://healthandwelfare.idaho.gov/Health/DiseasesConditions/ComprehensiveCancerControlProgram/WomensHealthCheck/AboutWHC/tabid/3830/Default.aspx
I’m grateful for the legacy my mom left on this earth. Some days I miss her more than others but I’m trying to be someone she would be proud of. We gave our oldest daughter my moms’ name as her middle name which is Monta. Though I wish she could be here to watch my kids grow up and to call or visit when I just need some mom advice, I will continue to be grateful for every day I have on this earth and do what I can to spread some awareness and love. I wish the pink ribbon symbol of breast cancer served as a memory of survival instead of loss for my sisters and I but it’s a great reminder for all of us women to get the preventative care we need. So, if you’re over 40 and/or have a family history, go get your mammogram done and do your monthly checks. You have loved ones who need you.
